Blog
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Tips for Creating a Successful Chat Roulette Party
Chat Roulette is the latest darling of the internet community. Connecting you, via webcam, with random users from around the world, it takes all that is miserable, squalid and immoral debauched about the internet, and conveniently gathers them in one place. At the slightest hesitation or lull in conversation you or they have the power to ‘next’ them into oblivion, never to be seen again. Naturally, I had to get this projected on the wall and invite a bunch of people round to celebrate my birthday.
You don’t need an economics degree to guess what type of users we encountered most frequently. The original idea was to get everyone downing a shot each time they saw a guy’s junk, but we would have ended up completely hammered in 15 minutes. What we did do, was settle on a system of serve, volley, smash that had myself and most of the party howling with such belly-aching laughter that the police arrived to break us up. It only seems fair to share our process:
1. Combine Webcam and Lamp into a ‘Weblamp’
We set up the web cam attached to my desk lamp, so the spotlight, quite literally, was on you while filming was taking place; is there a product idea in there? This gave everything the element of theatre, as the spotlight swung around the room in search of its next victim.
2. Get any guys away from the webcam
Sorry fellas; when the camera was on us, we would get ‘nexted’ within fractions of a second. Since most of Chatroulette is frequented by guys in their underpants, this comes as little surprise. Get rid of the guys from the initial view.
3. Recruit some girls; preferably dressed as nurses
In the invite, I asked everyone to wear something silly, or bring some sort of disguise. Georg’s girlfriend, Sharo, dived in feet first, and came dressed as a nurse, and simply ruled the party. As soon as we shifted focus onto these guys, the retention rate of users went sky high, and we instead could begin the hunt for some unsuspecting prey.4. Delegate typing to a third-party.
The second element in our armoury was Armando, who first crafted coquettish, flirtatious come-ons for the guys on the other end of the tube. Lulled into a false sense of security, they must have thought they had found Chatroulette utopia … but this all ended abruptly when Armando begin unleashing vitriolic Chinglish slurs in their direction; “show me your eyeballs gothy man!”
5. When ready, unleash a German with a fake willy.
Georg delivered the fatal blow, time after time, jumping onto screen with a hideous fake willy attached to the front of his apron. Playing the role perfectly, the room repeatedly erupted in laughter and screams, as the faces of the victims either dropped in disgust, or split with their own laughter.
6. Let the room say ‘hello!’
If the person was game and stuck around, this was a perfect moment to invite the rest of the room to say hello. We got some appreciative thumbs up, waves, and then sent them on their way with a deftly timed ‘next!’
It was certainly an unusual party, and one that I am pretty sure we will not be repeating (!). At least while the paint was fresh on the website, it was dead good fun to get involved. It was interesting to see how much it felt like being on the internet in the early days again, what with the clandestine chats, poor connection and frequent crashes. Gotta say – thanks to Georg and the girls for being such good sports, and Abe and Armando for going to all the trouble of printing life-size photos of me, with three different lengths of moustache, no less.
Some more photos of the chaos:
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Kenting 2010
Kenting – summed up in a single photo!
Though the departure was a little more hectic than I was originally envisioning, it was my pleasure to jump on the HSR down south and join Michael and Tanja for a weekend of summer sun in Kenting – south Taiwan.
The guys had come through to attend a wedding, and as such were accompanied by a group of 20 German holidaymakers – and all on the same weekend as the largest music festival in Taiwan; Spring Scream. As a result of poor planning on my part, I was actually supposed to be staying some fifteen kilometers away in Hengchun, but M&T offered me their spare bed in the amazing, but less than charismatically-named, Kenting Youth Activity Center. I love that place.
Situated on a peninsular east of the main drag, it is – according to their website – a ‘traditional Fujen(a province in southern China, also called Min) style building with red gate, white wall and red tile roof, and is often reputed as the Museum of Southern Min Style Architecture.’ I wish they gave more of the history, with a bit more explanation of the layout, but no matter; I would probably discover it is made of concrete.
Square clouds … I could just soak this in all day!
Detail view.
Shots of night of the wonderful lanterns, lighting up the courtyard.
Tiles done properly. Almost.
Doors.
The local walk down to the rocky peninsular.
Cable management.
Silhouettes.
Details, bathed in warm morning light.
Birds of a feather.
Little Georg makes a run for it.
Of course, we didn’t have the place entirely to ourselves. As host weekend of the largest music festival in Taiwan, there were some pretty odd sights, and a funny mixture of people. Beginning with obligatory trips down to the local nightmarket (copy and pasted from Taipei?), we then began sinking drinks, seeing some of the outlying stages, and finally ending up on the beach for what was a very nice, chilled out session the last time I was here. Nope – not this time… a huge, thumping sound system, massive crowd and despite signs urging restraint, a barrage of fireworks arcing up into the sky (as well as other places). I must at this moment apologise to all the people with car alarms that we set off, when some enterprising vendor sold us a box of mortars, at 4:30 in the morning. Only in Kenting.
Beer emergency.
Walking the dog.
Little Georg checking the icecreams – it was fun playing with them, though I wished my German had not corroded so far!
Peugeot 106 … waffles.
It was quite a culture shock to land from Texas, and dive head-first into full intensity Taiwan during ‘Spring Break’, all the while accompanied by German family members! Absolutely fantastic to see the Helds on top form though. See you guys again soon!
Taiwanese cowboys – summing up my cultural transition?
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Easter Brunch
This is proving to be one of those ‘intense weekends’. Arrive from the USA at midnight on Friday, get up to help prepare Easter Brunch for a dozen friends (Rabbit, Lamb and Quiche, no less!), then jump on a train down south to meet Michael and Tanja in Kenting; and all with a rainy cloud of jetlag hovering over me: I wish I could have spaced it out a bit.
Abe and Armando – I owe you one.
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Texas Neon
The great thing about staying downtown in Austin is that I have a fantastic array of Americana on display …
Key Drop
Gringo Bingo
Penis Hotel
The Continental Club
Allen’s Boots
Parking
Retro Truck
School Buses
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Springtime Mountain Biking
Cloned Riding
The cool weather during the week politely extended into the weekend, and I jumped at the opportunity to get out into the hills. I was provided with wheels once more by Lance Armstrong’s shop, Mellow Johnnie’s, again with Ken and Sandra expertly guiding me on the trails (and in the post-ride tacos) … but sadly we were missing Tony on these excursions.
We lined-up two days of riding; the first a two-hour drive out to Flat Rock Ranch near Comfort, and twenty five miles of high-intensity switch-backs and short, sharp climbs to numb both the brains and the legs. Sandra is a former professional racer, so if she is feeling the pressure I know what I am riding is pretty serious. I was determined to work off the calories consumed during the week, and I was pushing pretty hard the whole way, cramping up near the end. Exhausting, exhilarating, and rounded off with ‘The Best Burger in Texas’; the images are still flashing in front of my eyes (the trails, and the burger).
After the tough Saturday route, we opted for a shorter 18-miler on Sunday at Reimers Ranch. Another private trail centre, this was more of a skills and finesse session, sporting multiple foot-high step-ups and steep drop-ins. It took me a little while to really get the hang of the approach to these things; third gear seemed about right, with a firm lift on the bars, deft weight transfer, and finessing the rear wheel over the final inches. With legs still reeling from the day before, I took it a little easier, and treated myself to tacos and cup cakes on my return to Austin.
The amazing thing about these sets of trails is the quite insane number of turns, looping back and forth, as if penned by a slightly nervous five year-old. Both of these ranches were privately-owned, and as a result the owners want to maximise the course length on the available terrain. This is in contrast to the UK, where trails are usually old routes between settlements, and as a result, straight. All I can say is that I would not be surprised if riders used to these trail centres are wicked at negotiating turns.
Cacti – A tyre’s best friend.
Confident over the rocks …
Ooh – but a bit steeper than I expected!
But smiles all round.
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The Windy City
The L-Line from above …
I had a slightly sub-optimum flight plan into the USA this time – via Tokyo and Chicago, as opposed to the more conventional routes via LA or Dallas. None-the-less, I grabbed the opportunity during lay-over to jump on the underground system and run downtown for a few hours of walking around and getting a whiff of the sights. I have always, always wanted to go to Chicago, and I was impressed by the initial impression; funny people, a gritty feel reminiscent of Glasgow, and hearty Italian-American food. Well worth it, although snow did delay take-off and scuppered any chances of getting stuck into the final Saturday night of SXSW. Next time.
… and from below.
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Tokyo RFID
RFID noodle ordering in Tokyo – drop your ‘ticket’ on the sensor zone on the table, and the waiter knows where to come to drop your food. Japan is just so thoughtful about these things it makes me want to pack my stuff and move there.
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Online and in the Air
After a long 2.0 hiatus, I am back online and ready to start getting stuck back into writing, photographing and generally interacting.
I have put quite a bit of effort into getting the new blog up and running – now on the WordPress system – and this coincides with my series of flights to Austin, via Tokyo and Chicago. I am off to spend some time with my new team, and get up to speed with how things are done in the big city.
And just to prove how much I am looking forward to the new system, here is a photo taken with my iPhone, as I wait to take flight.
Punch it, Chewie!
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WE ARE MOVING
Blogger.com is ending support for self-hosted blogs. This stinks, but it does give me an excuse to update the whole site, building instead on the more powerful WordPress platform. The main bits of coding are done, and I am hoping for a smooth transition … we’ll see!
I am aiming to get everything transferred next weekend, onto a new server. New system, lots more space for photos, and room to add lots of fun little widgets … exciting!
