Weddings in Taiwan share some attributes of their Western counterparts – distant family feigning recognition, uncles and brothers ending up with their shirts hanging out of their trousers, and kids running around chairs until they knock their heads of some piece of well-placed wood.

There are, however, acute differences. The couple usually has their official family wedding several weeks before. There is an elaborate system of ceremonies, particularly focusing on the bride and her family, as far as I can tell. Perhaps I’ll cover that in more depth one day (though I cannot predict exactly how much detail at the moment, if you catch my drift).

The larger affair that I was at had 50 tables populated with every person they have ever met. The idea then is to fill each table with food and booze, leaving only the food remaining at the end. Specifically, it is the primary aim of every person in the room to drink the groom under the table – not difficult when he has to knock back a glass of whiskey at every table. By the end, Ryan had a small crowd of only marginally less drunk minders propping him up and guiding him to the next table, their faces full of joyous expectation, ready for the moment of marital vomit.

I returned home at 3:45pm totally hammered – some sort of new record I think.

The aftermath – you can see the dream of the western wedding, but through an Asian lens