Author: Jonathan Biddle

  • The Top of the World

    After pushing my parents through jet lag hell and tempting them with (bad) coffee and (good) bread at Wendel’s we headed off to see some sights.

    I had not been to Taipei 101 yet, which holds several of the records for the tallest building in the world. It is not quite as simple as you might imagine, judging the tallest building in the world., but 101 gets the highest occupied floor, highest roof and – oh i don’t know – crappest coffee. But it also has the fastest lift in the world, and certainly the one with the most LEDs – the whole lift plunges into darkness with the roof picked out in constellations of stars. Still, the view was sensational and we stayed up there chatting until the sun set, which was an amazing sight.


    View past one of the crazy ornamental cornices to the city beyond


    The obligatory slow exposure night shot

    After that, we headed past the trade centre where Mum narrowly stopped us heading into the annual bike industry’s exhibition. It would have ended in tears / debt anyway, so it was probably for the best. For a joke, I took them to the local English pub, where they served our local beer and where Dad got fascinated in the hand dryers. Nothing changes!

    Jet lag was catching up with them, so I sent them to bed.

  • Mum & Dad!

    Leaving work on Friday and rushing off to the airport was a pleasant change for an evening’s entertainment. It was amazing to see them walk through the door and have a massive family group hug. They were in pretty good spirits after the flight (and had not had the ordeal Ele went through) and we headed off for Taipei to install them in their hotel (‘The Feeling Hotel’ near my house). My Dad had spent some time in Singapore ten years ago, but it was my Mother’s first time. It was amusing to see them noticing the same things I did, but that I have now got used to – ‘the road signs are in Chinese!’


    Mum! Dad!

    They were utterly full of juice due to the jet lag, so I thought it wise that we head immediately for Shilin Night market to deliver the full Taiwan blow. It was quite a quiet night due to the rain but that meant you could at least walk through it in less than half an hour. It was still a pretty intense audio/visual experience for the folks, though!

  • Rain, Rain Go Away…

    3 weeks of constant rain is getting everyone down at the moment – especially as our office has no heating. It’s funny, I lived in Scotland for four years, but somehow the cold combined with the humidity means nothing ever quite dries properly. Still, it makes a great excuse for excursions to hot springs. In the past week, I have made sure to pay my local spa a visit in XinPeitou and yesterday went down the coast the JhaoSi with Anke and Lars for a decent session, and language exchange with 7 year olds, fascinated by my hairy arms.


    Rain in Ximen


    Warmth in XinPeitou

  • Tour de Taiwan

    This entry details the epic trip that Tanja, Michael, Markus and I made around the south of the island over Chinese New Year. 350km. 7 days. 1 puncture. Countless random events.


    Map of the tour

    The whole island gets its annual winter break in this period. The feeling was certainly festive at work, even if I felt a little detatched from the revelry. There is also an apparent innate desire to drive around the island in massively over-specified 4×4 vehicles and celebrate your annual holiday stuck in a traffic jam with 5 other cars from family members in a train of cars hours long, all attempting to reach the same pin point on the map … and return to the same origin at the same, synchronised opportunity.

    I managed to hastily avoid packing on Friday night and left it ’til literally the last minute of the next day to select my clothes for the week (limited), load my bike (wonky) and mentally prepare myself for a 6 day physical ordeal (recovered from hangover).

    Day 1
    Saturday 5th February 2005

    Taipei – Tainan (bus)
    Tainan – Camp site (bike)

    Our rigorously prepared German plan called for us to arrive completely disorganised, late at the bus station, completely aware that we would be arriving in Tainan in the night without any camping organised, or even knowledge of a site’s existence.

    We slotted the bikes under the bus (with help from the formally-attired bell boys) and were astonished to see the incredible interior. Where you found 2 seats in Europe (or 4 in Mexico) you had a huge, business-class arm chair clad in green faux-leather with huge, phallic LCD screens emerging from the base. After a few minutes of fiddling, we found the controls to adjust the seats electrically in all the directions you could desire (and several you certainly do not). And then we found the magic button … massage. The seats vibrate, kneed, pound and press with varying degrees of severity, dependent on several completely deciperable, illogical controls.

    At this point, we saw that several people on the bus were watching movies on the screens and begin exploring the menu. Unbelievable quantities of music, TV shows and movies were available for us, but I was quite pleased to find 7 channels of porn, which suited the vibrating chair quite well. However, Tanja and Michael looked a bit strangely at me, so I settled for The Matrix 3 with no sound instead.

    Arriving in Tainan 4 hours later, we unpacked the bikes and, much to the locals’ amazement’ cycle off into the darkness to find our bed for the night. Apart from noticing incredible numbers of pubs compared to Taipei (my favourite of which was the ‘FBI Bar’) we really did not find anything remotely like a campsite. We settled on a community nature reserve (scarce on this island) after several minutes of justifying to ourselves ‘well this is Taiwan’. We pitched up behind a bus and spent some of the night terrified that we would get busted by a group of school children with fishing nets and clip boards.

    Day 2
    Sunday 6th February 2005 (Chinese New Year’s Eve)

    Camp site – Tainan
    Tainan – Kaosiung

    We got up early to see where we had camped. The dawn light was a really pleasant start to the day. That, and the happy realisation that nobody really minded that we were camping in the middle of a town.


    Our first hotel


    A bus man’s holiday


    Our bike’s – shiny and unabused before the trip


    Bus company logo

    In the end, Markus could not join us in Tainan, as he had spent 6 days in Europe on business with most of it spent travelling or waiting to travel. We had arranged to meet him early in the morning in Kaosiung the next day.

    We had heard some nice reports about Tainan from various people and I was certainly very pleasantly surprised by the town. It had been the capital from 1663 to 1885 and you can see the influence of the Portuguese, Dutch and Japanese occasionally. My two favourite things (apart from the number of pubs) were the relaxed cafe atmosphere and the beautiful and numerous old temples in the city. We saw a decent selection of them, including Taoist, Confucianist and then specced-out standard ones. They were considerably older than many of the places I had seen so far in Taipei.


    An intricately carved pillar at Matsu Temple


    Interior view of Matsu


    This guy was hilarious – he had a very famous and traditional tea next to the temple. He encouraged the kids to help stir the pots and the amount of work that went into it was quite impressive … right up to when we walked back past and saw his powerdrill! And incidentally, it still tasted of sweat.


    View through a temple door at Kuankung Temple


    Incense at Kwankung Temple


    An incense urn at Kwankung Temple


    When we returned to our bikes we found the Temple’s chicken (we assume) sitting on Tanja’s bike. We took this as an incredibly good omen for the year ahead (it is now the year of the Chicken) … and yes it did shit on MY handlebars (spot her fat husband in the background)


    The cock was obviously none too pleased we were checking out his lady on his own turf, so did a lap of our bikes – chest puffed out. Dinner, mate.


    The Pagoda at the beautiful Confucian Temple

    After seeing the temples and having some lunch along a delightful lane of cafés we pedalled out onto the first leg – Kaosiung. The road
    was quite slow-going, since we decided to take the coastal path. The Taiwanese army being the Taiwanese army, they made sure they had totally blocked the path with regular turrets, although eerily now abandoned.

    We decided to get up on to the main road and get some serious K’s under our belt, seeing as we were making particularly slow progress. The urban sprawl never really broke, and as we approached Kaosiung proper it merely just went up a notch or two in density. We arrived in some dakness and headed for Lotus Lake, where we planned to meet Markus the next morning. I was not really prepared for the sights, since it was barely mentioned in the Lonely Planet – though as ever there were comprehensive culinary guides to all the McDonalds in the area.

    Lotus Lake, although not quite located in the mountains with Kung Fu masters training in the mist (it was more a brief break in the food stalls and night markets), was seriously impressive. Sometimes the Taiwanese obsession with all things LED pays off, and this lake was lined with some amazing Pagodas, enourmous dragons, tigers and gods. All ablaze with light and fire. Truly memorable. Utterly hilarious.


    LED Heaven

    We had some difficulty again finding a camp site (see previous day for the reason). We considered camping in the grounds of the grand Confucious Temple, but knew we would be woken at early doors by curious strollers and Tai Chi-ers. Instead we headed for high ground and gradually left the city behind us. The first really suitable plot came between two huge abandoned steel works, and made for the most bizarre scenery. A couple of beers later, and after staring at the stars for a while, we retired to bed – again slightly stressed about being kicked out or crushed by a truck – but clearly camping next in a steel works is normal in Taiwan.

    Day 3
    Monday 7th February 2005

    Kaosiung – Fang Shan

    We awoke early to see the industrial landscape we had chose for our camp site – certainly the stangest accomodation I have ever had. It was, however, completely deserted and deeply atmospheric – the result perhaps of the Chinese New Year Holiday.


    Hotel Chez Asus


    Contrasts

    We set off and waited at Lotus Lake for Markus to arrive from the city, joining us for the rest of the tour. He arrived, we drank coffee and got on our way. We knew the day was going to be quite hard going because we had to negotiate Koahsiung – a notoriously busy and polluted city (the second city of Taiwan). Still, seeing the amazing pagodas in daylight and drinking perfect fresh-squeezed orange juice was a fantastic start.


    Morning at Lotus Lake

    It took us a while to negotiate the city. Based around a huge harbour, we had to trek a fair distance inland to get access to the road south again. The roads were busy and the weather hot, but we pushed on and managed to make it to a small town of Fang Shan for the evening – only a few hours ride from Kenting, the beach and foooood.

    Fang Shan shone. Initially, we had some trouble finding a suitable camp site. Within minutes the whole village knew we were there and the local teenagers took us uner their wing and invited us to stay in the local Elementary School. Now, this sounds strange, but in Taiwan it is usually acceptable to pitch a tent on school property (you may slowly picking up the pattern that strange things are often the norm in Taiwan). After breaking in, we found a perfect spot and breathed a collective sigh of relief when we found that all the facilities were kept open for visitors’ disposal.


    Breaking and Entry

    After eating, we gradually attracted the attention of more of the youngsters. Several of the teenage girls chatted merrily with us for quite some time, and they told us about life in the village and some introductions to local aboriginal life. Meanwhile, the local lads set off torrents of fireworks in the school, providing a pleasantly noisy backdrop to a relaxing with few beers under the stars.

    Day 4
    Tuesday 8th February 2005

    Fan Shan – Kenting

    After waking up and brushing our teeth in the school’s wash room, we stepped / pedalled out. It was pretty hilarious seeing the situation we were in, but breakfast was good, coffee better and the weather looking warm.


    Fan Shang EuroCamp – spot our site on the left

    It was a short hop compared to previous days, but the wind had really picked up and unfortunately not in our favour. A blustery head wind made getting a rhythm hard. We split up and agreed to meet in the resort town, which may have been a mistake, but it worked out okay. After quickly scoping the place for camp sites we found a decent one – but not before eating our way through the menu in a small Mexican restaurant.

    An essential extended dip in the sea was precisely what we needed. Unfortunately, like much of Taiwan, they really enjoy trying to ruin what is perfectly good, and we were greeted with a legion of jet skis, ridden by people with no skill, and who probably could not swim. It was fascinating watching the fathers take their boys into the sea – most of them seemed petrified by the water, and a major conrast to Europe.


    Running from the waves

    The camp site was one you actually had to pay for this time. It was okay, but ironically the school was better, and certainly quieter. By this point, much of the main new year celebrations were over and the islanders were eagerly heading for the warm bits of the island – along with everyone else. Thankfully for us, camping is still not really mainstream, and the over-specced 4x4s with beautiful bikes mounted on the roof remained in the resorts.


    Adjustments

    In the evening we headed back for round 2 – Thai food. Exceptional quality. This time, all the holidaymakers had turned out to walk up and down the strip, and I realised it was exactly the same as the night markets we had just left behind us in Taipei. Clearly, this is their natural environment!

    Kenting Night Market / Resort

    Day 5
    Wednesday 9th Fe
    bruary 2005

    Kenting – Undisclosed Location

    Day 5 saw us enter the bit of the ride we had been looking forward to. We knew it was likely to be hard, with some respectable climbing and a tough distance to cover, but we knew the views would be fantastic of the east coast. However, the wind had other ideas and made sure, while the climbing made us sweat, the descents had much of the fun taken out of them with a stiff breeze blowing against us all the way.


    Good dentail hygiene is essential for any epic tour

    However, the day started marvellously and we saw the southern tip of the island, plus the limits of where commercial development had stripped the west of much of its charm.

    The Pacific coast is really beautiful. As soon as you round the point, marked by a light house, cliffs drop into the ocean and the whole hill side is painted with dense vegetation. The first hour or two reminded me of Australia (though I have never been there), winding through billabongs and creeks, over crests and down dales.


    The beautiful east coast


    Fly By

    The weather slowly deteriorated from here on in, and riding against the wind quickly turned very dull. The ride was occasionally broken up with disused army check points and bases – these must have been quite unpopular places in the winter with the squaddies. Given a few years of decay to let the paint peel, however, and they become very interesting places to wander around.


    Old army bases


    Sergeant Wierzoch


    Clash between nature, man and Lexus

    Originally, we had planned to finish the day with a fairly big climb to a few hundred metres elevation. We were perfectly happy, however, to stumble across a couple of camp sites where the road left the coast. We pitched up, set up food, and bought enough food and dodgy fireworks to amuse ourselves for the evening (narrowly avoiding igniting both of our tents).


    Michael enjoys a beer


    We all enjoy pyrotechnics

    Day 6
    Thursday 10th February 2005

    Undisclosed Location – Jhiban Hot Springs

    We had not made quite the mileage we wanted to the previous day, so we had left ourselves a very tough day. We aimed to reach Jhiban Hot Springs for a relaxation session, but had the biggest climb of the tour, plus 85 km or so of tough coastal road work along the major artery. We made sure to leave early, however, and the weather seeing us off was fantastic.


    Markus, packing his bike and obviously feeling the pressure of 5 days in the saddle

    The climb was a steady hour or two to a few hundred metres above sea level. Although it was not easy, it was satisfying to settle into a rhythm and feel strong after a few days in the saddle. The sun was shining, the views were amazing, and we knew we aimed to get to a hot spring – always a pleasure.


    After the main climb, and riding through Aboriginal villages, thoughtfully decorated by the Taiwan Government

    After reaching the main lip of the hill, we had quite a treat descending into Ta-Wu – fast, sweeping descent mixing it up with the cars and holidaymakers, returning to the coast for the final leg. Unfortunately, this final leg was a leg of immense length. The weather deteriorated and motivation slipped as the kilometre markers slowly counted down. I had spent several hours fantasizing about reaching a 7-11 and demolishing the candy bar section. We needed to really look after eachother on this section, and made sure to stick together to slip-stream away as much of the wind as possible. Finally, finally, we reached a 7-11 and were within spitting distance of Jhiban.


    Keep going! – only 10 more minutes…

    Jhiban had the same completely commoditised feel as a French ski resort. Beautiful scenery, but with huge concrete buildings dropped from alien space craft. The whole place was packed with tourists following us around the island, and the first camp site we reached was fully booked (even though they had put tents on the roofs of some of the buildings). The second one we reached was available, but disappointing, but we fortunately kept going for a couple more minutes to find a pretty nice site. No spring water left, and a steep £15 per night rate, but we had no choice and went off to find a public spring.

    This actually turned out great. The spring we found – part of one of the resort hotels was a huge, sprawling complex of spas, water jets and saunas. I think I contaminated the water quite badly after several days without a shower (just ask Markus who I shared a tent with), but we stayed there until hunger got the better of us.


    Jhiban Hot Springs – strangely serene


    Shattered, but with good food and a beer.

    Day 7
    Friday 11th February 2005

    Taidong (bike)
    Taidong – Hualian (bus)
    Hualian – Taipei, via Ilan (train)

    The weather treated us to some beautiful sun. We still had another 20km to go to get to the airport and home, but this was doable after the previous day’s efforts. The wind was with us and we rolled along with bluebirds in our hair.

    We arrived at the airport, and of course all flights were booked out. Finally, the lack of planning falls over. After taking a look at the long waiting list we decide to head for the train station, where we are happily told there is a two day waiting list. Riiiight. Finally, we head for the old bus station in the middle of town and get our revenge by buying KFC.

    Again, our lack of planning turns into gold-plated fortune. The journey up to Hualian was stunning, hugging the coast line and driving beneath cliffs a thousand metres high. I am
    now really looking forward to returning to the region with my parents and seeing more.


    A quick ciggie stop on the coastal tour


    A brutal environment for farming

    Finally, and late, we rock up to Hualian. There were no immediate buses, but we decided to try our luck again with the trains. We could buy tickets to Ilan, which is a convenient hop to Taipei – either that night or the next day. Not ideal, but it meant we could get close.

    However, we first needed to pack our bikes up, since we were not sure about loading them onto the train. Dozens of black bin liners, reams of tape and countless bemused expressions from the locals as we stripped the bikes down in front of the main entrance and wrapped them in black plastic, Shallow Grave style.


    Disposing of the body


    Bikes? What bikes?

    Our plan was to get on the train, at least make it as far as Ilan and then see what happened from there. We had the rather inspired idea of asking the conductor if it was possible to extend the ticket we had bought from Hualian to get as far as Taipei. He agreed, but informed us we would not be able to get seats. We jumped at the offer, when we realised we could get back to Taipei the same night.


    A few tense minutes

    … but we made it! And in time for the last tube home as well! Shattered, but mighty pleased I had seen the island – by bus, train, bike, blood, sweat and gears.


    Home

  • Vertically Challenged

    My friend Laura and I have made some wee little photographic briefs for eachother, while she is in Rome and I am in Taipei. I only met half the brief, but these were the outcomes. The theme was: “vertically up or down”



    Palm Springs



    I really liked this roof – a combination of new aluminium frame, industrial corrugated metal and bamboo. It sums up the island in a small way.



    A happy tree with lights near my house



    A tree on fire

  • The Chinese New Year Party (to end them all)

    Asus held a truly astonishing Chinese New Year party for every one of its employees from all the sites in Taiwan. Figures ranging from 4,000 to 13,000 were mentioned – I am not really sure myself, but it was really cool to be lumped in with senior management, the Thai factory girls (some of which were frighteningly attractive) and so many Chinese people celebrating. It was held in one of the local schools near my house under a huge tent, and the cooking logistics were frightening.

    It is traditional to have a large number of prizes given away. We had about 6 cars, dozens of notebook computers and other Asusish things plus quintillions of NT$ worth of Carrefour vouchers. Can you imagine winning 100,000 NT$ in supermarket vouchers? That is about 3200 US$ ! Lots of Brie.

    This went on for some … time. In between the bedlam of people winning prizes, there was plenty of entertainment on tap, including our directors singing some songs in Drag, dressing up as a boy band, a truly awful German magician (who is for some reason head of Fujitsu Taiwan) and lots and lots and lots of Thai dancers with feathers and lasers from the factories.

    The food was not too bad, but of the soup and steamed things variety. The highlight of the evening was the lobster. I am sure that in Europe we would dress the lobster with, say, a nice crunchy salad, or maybe a light sauce. Here? Here it is dressed with tri-colour LEDs …. !


    “Zulus … Thousands of ’em” (and check out the bamboo roof structure)


    Truly impressive levels of investments in the employee’s entertainment


    The locals are so easily entertained


    The food, ready for delivery


    The lobsters, ready to roll (and notice the school running track and steam cookers in the background)

  • Biking Yang Ming Shan

    I finally got to go mountain biking after waiting 2 weeks to get on the thing, due to company commitments. I headed out with Lars, who is not a cyclist, but who is very fit – fitter than me! I was also suffering from one too many Belgian beers from the previous night, so Jonny Armstrong was not quite on top form. Still, we had a cool day and I got to try my bike out a little on some back woods trails (until we hit steep steps).

    The coolest bit was happening upon a golf course, rocking up and demanding a session in the driving range. Since we were paying good money and the place was mostly empty they lest us in, surrounded by slightly strange looking locals in lots of brand mame Pringle and Lacoste. We fitted right in, with red faces and muddy legs.

    My swing started a bit badly, but I got into a quite impressive series of long distance shots with incredible amounts of slice. I almost cleared the fence a couple of times… but to the side. Still, the auto-dispensing machine and the crack of the balls flying off into the distance was very entertaining, and great after a hard bike ride.


    Nike Poobahs and Astroturf do not mix


    Clubbing

  • Taiwanese Packaging

    Just to make you laugh and me cry…. I was just in the shop reaching for some orange juice. I reached ‘wrong’ and one of the 250ml dropped to the ground. Shit. So I made my apologies and paid for the juice (even though it was clearly an inferior bottle . plastic, i ask you!) but since I was still in the mood for the OJ I bought a nice big 1000ml bottle. Yum yum breakfast in my tum. Okay so I get home, but my motorbike helmet down, and then life turns into slow motion. My sixth sense realises that the big bottle of orange juice is slowly drifting towards the floor. Even my kung fu ninja samurai skills are not enough and sure enough 1 fucking litre of orange juice sprays itself evenly over my bastard floor. DO YOU KNOW HOW STICKY THIS STUFF IS? I have washed the floor twice now and yup I still get my shoes doing the sticky sticky walk walk thing (but I have to admit that when that does happen in a supermarket, when some kid spills fruit concentrate on the floor, walking accross it is immensely satisfying). So fuck the orange juice and fuck the floor. I am sitting on it now typing and when I get up I will get that same satisfying feeling as my arse peels itself from the surface.

  • Punishment

    The Taiwanese God of Torture was clearly in a humourous mid-winter mood. He (and it must be a he) made sure the weather was perfect for doing all the things we really wanted to do – like cycling, going to the beach or just chilling out in Taipei – and that we were instead subjected to a series of ridiculous tasks that would cause only to heighten the considerable pulsing pain in our heads.

    Round 1: Breakfast / Zao Fan

    Precisely what I did not need was precisely what I got. Taiwanese breakfast. I really do consider myself an adventerous eater, but not at breakfast, when all I want is the things I grew up with. What is it? Rice soup with fried offal, a fried egg, some stewed tofu in a spicy MSG sauce and if you are lucky some mechanically seperated pork meat (AKA pork floss, my nemesis).



    Don’t mess with the J-Man

    Round 2: Strawberry Picking

    Miaoli is famous for its Strawberry picking. Now, ordinarily I would be quite excited about this and would be looking forward to running around the local fields targeting enormous juicy red taste bombs in the quest to find the perfect one. What we got instead was a field smaller than the car park meagrely stocked with pale, tasteless fruit in neat, shrink-wrapped rows.



    Anke – you seem disappointed in the taste of the strawberries



    D&G; Winter 2005 – “Strawberry Chic”

    Round 3: Pottery

    For the second stage we went around a traditional Taiwanese (read: Japan / Dutch / Spanish) pottery. This really would have been okay, normally, but I really was not in a creative mood and had no temper to mess around. We did get to play with some clay at the end, though, put they gave us newspaper to build on, the newspaper absorbed the water and disintegrated and the newspaper neatly and evenly distributed itself through the clay.



    Rough, but laughing through it!

    But seriously… we really do enjoy these trips. It is just that us Euros enjoy more complaining about it! These are the times when we often see the true cultural differences, and we are pretty priveleged to be able to catch a ride with it.



    The clay is on my head, see…

  • Team Building

    We had another company trip last weekend – this time, only the ID dept. After the previous experience I knew what to expect a little more and to sit back and relax when 6 cars, all armed with allarming levels of GPS, head off in different directions completely lost.

    This time, we headed to Miaoli for an afternoon strategy session, a brutal night of drinking and a punishing day of strawberry picking and pottery to rub salt (plus tequila and lime) into a badly wounded head.

    At one point in the evening (I am not entirely sure when) the restaurant owners brought out a big wooded bowl full of rice and two large hammers. A harsh lesson was delievered to the poor soft grain, as teams of two pelted the bowl with blows hard enough to vibrate the floor. The resulting pathetic lump of squidge gradually became more and more glutinous until eventually the ref called time and announced humanity winner. I was quite surprised, therefore, that they turned the bowl out into a dish and let the team pull and rip at the rubber-like substance, filling their mouths until it was all gone and we started over again. This is the traditional method for making and consuming ‘Mah Ji’.



    Kyle wields the ritual rice torture mallet



    The crowd demands blood



    Diego delivers the fatal blow

    After the ricicide, a trip to the hot springs and running around the river a bit, drinking games brought whetever dignity we had left firmly to its knees. The main game involved a set of 4 dice. I would like to describe the rules, but the only one I cared about at the time was that I always seemed to drink on every round. We rapidly dispatched the beer and began on the Mexcal (Tequila’s rough older brother), and I was surprised to discover the Taiwanese keeping up and staying up much later than usual.



    Destruction passes through the local Taiwan Beer population



    Hello Nasty



    Markus and Michael laugh heartily at one of my many jokes of the evening